This picture is from the book, “The Origin of Chinese Deities” by Cheng Manchao
The Kitchen God can be found here.
1 year ago · 2 notes
This picture is from the book, “The Origin of Chinese Deities” by Cheng Manchao
The Kitchen God can be found here.
1 year ago · 2 notes
Check these dudes out!
More about them here.
This picture is from the book, “The Origin of Chinese Deities” by Cheng Manchao
1 year ago · 1 note
No, this isn’t some hipster artpiece. It’s a picture of a real God. Who? Cangjie! And he’s like, real important, too, ‘cause without him, there would be like, no written Chinese script. At least, that’s what the stories say, but y’all have seen my reblogged post about oracle bones, right? Riiiight.
Soo anyway, Cangjie was this dude who existed like, waaaaaaay before the Xia Dynasty, in what those university professors call the Neolithic period. We Chinese say he existed during the time of the Five Sovereigns, which meant that there were totally 5 mythical Emperors who ruled before the first guy of the Xia Dynasty ruled. But anyway, on with the story.
Cangjie was this like, special kid who was born with like, four eyes because it was cool. Seriously, though. He was born like that and it meant that he was special. He like drawing pix as a kid, and when he grew up, the Emperor was all, “Dude, count how much animals and grains we have, k?”
He was like, k.
It was really hard, and Cangjie had to be very creative, so he started using mnemonic shiz to remember how much of what was available and so on. It got worse when Huang Di was fighting Yan Di ‘cause food stocks would be looted or disappeared, so Cangjie used a rope to tie knots so that he would remember.
Finally, when Yan Di and Huang Di were doin’ the UN peace talks thing, Huang Di asked Cangjie how much Yan Di had looted so he could say, “HAHA! GIMME BACK MY FOOD!” Cangjie was totally
derping uh I mean, he totally couldn’t figure out what to say ‘cause he couldn’t remember.
“You stupid piece of animal turd!” Huang Di probably said somethin’ like this, berated Cangjie for his incompetence, and then left Cangjie alone ‘cause he was so pissed.
Cangjie wasn’t the kind to be sad for long, though, and he observed everything in nature, like how animals made tracks to show they were there, and that there were cracks in mountains to show that you totally should stay away ‘cause they could kind of crash on you. Anyway, Cangjie figured out that all these li’l strokes were nature’s way of tellin’ you what was goin’ on, and he was all, “HEY THIS IS GREAT! I know what to do now!”
Inspired, Cangjie began to like, carve his own made-up language on the rock, and it was like, super epic. (I know, even doing something as mundane as writing was had to be epic back then.) Thunder rang out and rain began to fall, demons shrieked and howled, until finally, finally, finally he finished his work, and he presented it to Huang Di, going, “I did this shit.”
Huang Di was like, really impressed, and he made errbody learn how to write this script, yo, and it was like, really easy to keep track of stuff so that the Emperor could know how much food and livestock he had left.
When Cangjie died, he was like, celebrated, and temples sprang up errywhere.
1 year ago · 3 notes
or… Er Lang vs Monkey King
Anyways, if you’re familiar with Chinese mythology and grew up watching television serials, you know this bad-ass ‘cause he fights Sun Wu Kong after Sun Wu Kong wreaked havoc in heaven. Basically, the Monkey King ruining the peach party for errbody was like, the last straw, and so many immortals, like the four heavenly kings, Nezha, were called to capture him. They failed. Since like, sooo many immortals couldn’t defeat him, Guan Yin was all, “Hmmm, your nephew Er Lang is like, totally strong, so let’s like, summon him to defeat the monkey,” which was what the Jade Emperor totally did.
So obviously it was like, this epic battle, with both of them like, totally givin’ it their all, but the thing is, they were like, so evenly matched that they totally had to find a way to see who won. So, the Monkey King changed into a sparrow, and Er Lang changed into a kite, (yes, you read right) to go after him. Both of them were shapeshifters, see. Then, The Monkey King changed into a comorant, and to follow, Er Lang changed into a crane. The Monkey King worked his magic once again and changed into a fish, and Er Lang caught him, but the Monkey King changed again! This time, he slithered away in the grass as a snake, and became the shittiest of all fish, the bustard. Er Lang didn’t wanna touch that, so he hit the fish with a stone.
Finally, finally, finally! The Monkey King turned into a temple, and Er Lang was all, “For the love of my uncle, like, seriously? It’s so obvious ‘cause the flagpole is his tail, bro!” So he attacked the temple.
But! The Monkey King ran away again! He was real tricksy, too, ‘cause he went to Er Lang’s temple in Guanjiangkou, disguising himself as Er Lang! OMG! Er Lang totally had to go fight with him.
And after all this, the Jade Emperor was all, “What’s taking my nephew so long?”
Laozi was all, “K, Imma help you,” so he threw a golden circle. It hit the monkey, made him go all, “Wuhhh?” And that’s how he was totally captured.
1 year ago · 9 notes
I’m gonna level with you guys here - I chose this picture ‘cause it is supremely bad-ass, and I also can’t find the source of this image so let me know if you can find the website.
Anyway, if you’ve read the previous post, you’d totally know some of the stories about Er Lang, but hey, guess what? There are two more!
Canonization of the Gods
See, Er Lang like, totally makes his appearance in this novel, called the Canonization of the gods (it’s the novel that Da Ji was in, remember?) Anyway, it’s about how the new Zhou dynasty totally lost to the Shang dynasty ‘cause you had fox spirits like like Da Ji wreakin’ havoc in the court, and so, since the Shang dynasty lost the mandate of heaven - the right to rule by the heavens, there were like, a lot of battles and stuff. One of it’s got the Four Heavenly Kings [四大天王sidatianwang] and this is how it went.
See, the Four Heavenly Kings were on the side of the Shang, with Grand Tutor Wen, while Er Lang was totally with this kooky guy called Jiang Ziya.
This is how they look like! The first one is armed with a sword, the second one an umbrella, the third a pipa, and the last, an ermine. Oh yeah, and Nezha was also on the side of Jiang Ziya, and he was totally fighting the guy with the umbrella, who was Mo Lihong. And the thing is, the umbrella might be this like, lame weapon, but when it like, opened, Nezha’s weapons were trapped in it!
So, Mo Liqing waved his sword, which totally made dark clouds gather,
Mo Lihai played the pipa (Bard Level: 90, haha) and made all the four elements of earth come together, and the last dude, Mo Lishou, released his ermine. Uh-oh.
The magic ferret ate errthing, of course.
Jiang Ziya was all, OMG GUYS! Help!
Guess who showed up? Aww that’s right, Er Lang!
So basically he was all, “Ohai! I’m Yang Jian, the apprentice of Sage Yu Ding in the Golden Sunglow Cave of Jade Spring Mountain, and I can totally help you guys.”
He went out into the battlefield, and the ermine came again, and it was like, sooo huge it swallowed up Er Lang / Yang Jian.
The four Heavenly Kings were all, “Aww yeah! We whooped ass!”
“Hey you know, we should totally use it to whoop ass and unleash it on Jiang Ziya and the new King!” which is what they did.
All this while, Er Lang was in the belly of the ermine, but he stretched and stretched himself until he burst out of ther ermine, and it like, totally died.
After this, since we all know from the previous post that Er Lang was a shapeshifter, he changed into the ermine and went to the camp. When they were sleeping, he totally took the umbrella that one of them had, and passed it to Jiang Ziya.
That was how they got their weapons back, and that was how they became victorious, yo!
Of course, afterwards there was this guy called Huang Tianhua who killed all of the heavenly Kings with his Devil nails [y’know, like the kind carpenters use.] But then, Jiang Ziya was all, “Well, you guys are kinda epic and like, deserve to be immortalized, so why not? You guys will be the Four Heavenly Kings, k?”
“K,” they said, and so they totally were.
1 year ago · 0 notes
You asked for it, and here’s the answer!
Also, how could I seriously forget about this god?
I mean, he’s like, so bad-ass ‘cause his official title is this: Peace Absolving, Central August Spirit Exalted, Ancient Buddha, Most Pious and Honorable, His Highness the Jade-Emperor, Xuanling High Sovereign (or 太平普度皇靈中天至聖仁義古佛玉皇大天尊, in Chinese.)
He also has the power to control like, errything in heaven, earth and hell, and his birthday is on the 9th day of the first lunar month i.e., during Chinese New Year. Yea, I know, I was supposed to cover this earlier on, but I was swamped with Chinese New Year posts that I’m only doing this now.
Anyway, on his birthday, there are like, soo many grand ceremonies held in Taoist temples, He also comes to earth on the 25th day of the 12th lunar month to patrol and see what it’s like, after the Kitchen God is done reporting what’s going on on earth.
Look! Hell money with the Jade Emperor’s face and the 8 immortals on it!
The Origin of the Jade Emperor - The Kingdom of Light and Joy
So like, once upon a time, there was this place called the Kingdom of Light and Joy, and of course like, erryone was like, happy there. Anyway, the King and Queen started thinkin’, y’know, who would inherit their kingdom?
Sooooo, the Queen dreamt that Lord Taishang, or Laozi, floated down with a child, and that baby was totally glowing, which obviously meant that he was somethin’ special.
Obviously the Queen was all, “OMG BABY! I can has baby?”
And the old man was like, “Yea, sure!”
When the prince was born, the entire kingdom lighted up! Woo! And he really grew up to be special, ‘cause he was kind, gave the treasure in the palace to the poor, and his dad was all, “Welp, I can like, totally give him the kingdom since he’s growin’ up to be the kind of ruler I want him to be. YES!”
Which is what happened after the old King died.
So that’s how the Jade Emperor became, um, King.
But that’s not all. ‘Cause one day, he told his ministers, “Hey guys! Imma be away from this place a bit ‘cause I wanna cultivate myself, and the kingdom is doing really well anyways.”
Which is what he did, and he gained immortality. Aaaaand he cultivated himself some more, and became the Jade Emperor.
Zhang Bairen becomes the Jade Emperor
The first story doesn’t have that much excitement, so there’s like, another story that tells us how the Jade Emperor like, totally came to be.
The thing is, there were like, sooo many immortals par-taying in heaven, and they totally needed a ruler. The gods of wind and rain also did douche-y things like, make it rain endlessly on earth. The god of wind also challenged him, and the mortals were like, “Okay, seriously? When will this stop?”
So the Star of Venus, or Tai Bai Jin Xing, (‘cause the Chinese people thought the Star of Venus was an immortal) went to earth to search for the Emperor. He like, changed himself into a beggar and went down to earth to search for a ruler.
He came across this town called Zhang, and he was like, real impressed ‘cause it was like, a real orderly town and shiz. He went around, asking who the ruler of the town was, and this dude was all, “Oh. We’re ruled by Zhang Bairen, but we call him Zhang the Tolerant,” ‘cause he’s like, super forgiving.
The fake beggar went outside Zhang’s house, and collapsed in front of it, wailing, “OMG! I’m like, totally starving!” Zhang came out and was all, “OMG, this is like, so sad! Come in, Imma help you!”
He carried the beggar in, and made some food for him.
Obviously it was a test, so the beggar complained. “You only gave me rice! And there’s like, no meat! Or wine!”
So Zhang got everything the beggar wanted.
The beggar stayed at Zhang’s place for six months, but Zhang didn’t complain, or say that the beggar was a freeloader or anything. He was like, real patient and kind with errbody, especially the beggar. And the beggar was always like, making trouble for him, complaining about this and that, and Zhang didn’t even lose his temper.
Anyway, the beggar revealed himself to be the Star of Venus, and was all, “Hey, you’re a pretty good person, so can you like, govern heaven, hell and earth?”
Zhang was all, “WTF? Seriously?”
“Uh, yeah. We kinda need a ruler.”
“But this isn’t a small town! It’s, like, everything!” Zhang was totally panicking.
“Well, you’re gonna have me and other ministers to help, so come on!” And that’s how Zhang Bairen became the Jade Emperor.
The Jade Emperor Slays a Monster
A long time ago, it really sucked to be on earth, ‘cause monsters were always attacking all the mortals, and no one really stopped them. At that time, the Jade Emperor was like, an immortal, and he was real compassionate, and he was like, real upset ‘cause his powers were like, limited, and he couldn’t help the humans much. Then, he had an idea. He would like, hide in the cave and like, cultivate himself and hopefully, he could help the humans after that.
But while he was meditating and shiz, this demon was like, “Imma destroy everything and be King!” He started messin’ shit up on earth, and he had also like, cultivated himself, and got an army to march into heaven and conquer it.
The immortals were like, freakin’ scared, and they prepared to fight, but they knew they couldn’t win.
The Jade Emperor, funnily enough, finished cultivating himself, and saw what was happening. He was all ready to whoop ass, and he challenged the demon to an epic battle. They fought for a really long time, with the earth shaking, the seas wobbling, and all that stuff. Finally, the Jade Emperor won because he had cultivated himself for the greater good of the peeps on earth, not because he wanted power.
So after the battle, errbody on heaven and earth agreed that he was like, awesome beyond all means, and they told him to be the Jade Emperor, and rule over them. Since then, he’s been a good ruler.
The Jade Emperor’s Dragon Stick
K, so this is a Chinese New Year thang that people do, which is to burn dragons. This was because the Jade Emperor used to like, go errywhere with like, his dragon stick.
One day, he went out, and forgot to carry his stick with him, and when he like, came back, errbody was all, “Hey! Jade Emperor! A dragon is wreaking havoc on the world, yo!”
This was so not good, so the Jade Emperor went down to look. Since one day in heaven is equal to a year on earth, the dragon had totally been messin’ shit up for a year. And when the Emperor went down to look, he saw that the dragon was his dragon stick, and had totally come to life after being in contact with the Emperor.
The Jade Emperor was real upset about this, so he was all, “K, mortals. You can like, burn the dragon on the first day of the ninth lunar month, yo!”
That’s what they did.
So these are some of the stories of the Jade Emperor, and if he’s still being worshipped, I guess he must’ve been a real awesome ruler.
1 year ago · 6 notes
Right, now that V Day is over, we can do other things like look at other bad-ass gods! Yesssss. And now, we’re gonna look at this god called Er Lang Shen.
Yup, here’s a visual for you guys riiiight here.
Er Lang Shen is called the True Lord, the Great Illustrious Sage, and he’s supposed to be like, the nephew of the Jade Emperor. His name is known as Yang Jian in some work, but he’s usually known as Er Lang Shen and is this like, super epic warrior. He’s got this third truth-seeing eye in the middle of his forehead - y’know, x-ray vision and all - and he’s accompanied by his trusty and loyal dog, the Xiao Tian Quan (啸天犬 - “Howling Celestial Dog”). Er Lang also means second son in Chinese, so his name means the second son god. Yeah, kinda weird, I know.
Er Lang helps his Dad Slay a Dragon and Build a Dam, too.
So this happened in Sichuan, during the Warring States period, and Er Lang’s father, Li Bing, was in charge of the Minjiang river. Except there was this problem. See, every year, the waters would like, totally flood the crops of all the peeps, and nobody would get food ‘cause the crops would fail. But, since it was obviously the warring states, he had to keep the waterway open so that troops could sail out for battle.
Naturally, he was all, “Oh man, what am I gonna do?”
Er Lang was all, “Dad, you can create a channel to diveert the extra water from Mount Yulei, but still keep it open so the troops can go fight.”
So that’s what they did.
That was the short, historical version, but the longass version goes like this:
There was a flood every year, the crops would fail, and the people were like, starving. So, to find the cause, Er Lang totally had to go on a journey to find out what the crap was happening. (In some versions, though, Li Bing was the one who killed the dragon, so peeps say Li Bing IS Er Lang. Hmm.) Along the way, he totally slew a tiger, and he met seven hunters along his journey, and told them what happened. The hunters were all, “Bro, you are like, epic, but you totally need our help with the flood thing.”
Off they went on their journey.
So they came to this cottage, and they heard like, some really loud wailing, yo! They went in and met this woman, who was like, totally crying.
They were all like, “What’s wrong, Granny?”
“Oh, nothing. Just that my life sucks ‘cause a dragon is gonna eat my son tomorrow!”
It didn’t take very long for Er Lang to figure out that the dragon might be messin’ shit up for errbody, yo, and he swore to capture it. To help him do it, the old lady also gave him a chain, which would be sooo useful later.
On the day that the boy was supposed to be eaten, Er Lang and his homies were like, waiting, when the dragon appeared! They fought against the dragon like a boss, and then, Er Lang totally defeated it and tied it with the chain! Woo!
So after this, to check the flood, Er Lang and his dad built like, 3 stone figures, to see if there were like, gonna be floods again. During the dry season, the water shouldn’t be lower then the feet of the statues, and in wet season, the water level couldn’t be above the shoulders.
So there you have it! Come back the next time for another two stories about Er Lang
1 year ago · 2 notes
Not so much is known about this god, but we already know from the last post that he’s called Tu Er Shen ‘cause Rabbits were like, this derogatory slang for gays in Ancient China.
Anyways, before he became the Rabbit God, he was a man, and his name was Hu Tianbao. See, Hu was so totally in loooove with this inspector from the Fujian province, and he couldn’t say nothin’ ‘cause, well, the inspector was of a higher standing than him, and because of Confucius, ‘cause he was all, “Nooo, have sex with wimminz so every family with have a male heir!” But back to the story. One day, Hu saw the inspector go to the loo, and he did this real pervy thing - peep through the bathroom wall.
Such a bad idea.
He was totally caught by the inspector, who was all, “Whatchu doin’, spyin’ on me like that?”
And Hu was so embarrassed and scared, he said, “Um, it’s ‘cause I think I really like you!”
Which was also another bad idea.
So anyway, the inspector got so mad, he ordered Hu Tianbao to be like, totally sentenced to death by beating. But that’s not all.
‘Cause a month later, a man had a dream about Hu, and in Chinese culture, dreams are important and legit, so Hu told the man his story. And the thing is, after Hu died and told King Yama what he had done, King Yama didn’t really punish him, ‘cause Hu was like, totally in love. So King Yama was all, “I know! Since you are a homosexual, and like, some Chinese people are gay, it’d be totally cool if you were like, this god to watch over them.” It was then agreed by errbody that Hu Tianbao would be the Rabbit god.
After the dream, the man was like, “Hmm, a god totally needs a shrine so people can ask him to help them,” and that’s what he did. Though other sources say that it was Hu who asked for a shrine, so whatevs. I mean, like, every gods kinda needs a place on earth so peeps can go say, “Wassup?” right?
Anyway, if you’re like, homosexual, don’t bother praying to Yue Lao, ‘cause Yue Lao would be all, “Hmmm, this person is like, gay, but totally asking for a straight marriage.” So he would all like, match gay people with straight ones, and this is a total no-no, man.
Thing is, the Rabbit God is real nice, ‘cause he suffers from this inferiority complex, and if you ask him to help you, he’ll really do his best. He’s probably considered like, inferior in the pantheon ‘cause of all the discrimination, too, and if you like, totally believe in him, he’ll be super nice to you.
So… if you want him to help you, you gotta call him da ye (大爷), or master, and you write down your wish or prayer, name, address and facebook account [LOL JK!] so he’ll totally help you.
Some peeps give him skin-care products ‘cause they think Tu Er Shen loooves moisturizer and will make romance happen for these peeps, and some of them take paper charms, put then under a pillow, and pray to him before sleeping.
But this god is totally for all homosexuals, man. You can even go to him if you’re lesbian, and even if you don’t believe in him, or in a god. ‘Cause I mean, people still go, y’know, not ‘cause they’ll really get anything out of it but ‘cause it gives them hope.
And that’s the important thing.
1 year ago · 52 notes
Kay, so there are two other door gods who were based on really epic historical figures, and people were all like, oh my god, wouldn’t it be like, totally cool to canonize them in this story? Anyway, their names were Qin Shubao and Yuchi Jingde, famous epic warriors from the Sui dynasty, but later, in the Tang dynasty, they were canonized and made immortal in this story. Woo!
Also, this story is from Journey to the West, written by this bad-ass writer, Wu Cheng En - also more on him later, and it’s one of the incidences that the Tang Monk - the holy dude who was assigned to fetch the scriptures from India encountered. So yes, this is also kind of a spoiler, but I swear the endings were treated differently.
Anyway, here’s the story.
Basically, it starts off with the Dragon King of the Jing river being pissed off, ‘cause his fish soldier was like, “Bossman, we’re totally running low on fish ‘cause this fortune teller is telling errbody where to get us!”
So he was all, “Kill the bugger!” but one of his officers was all, “Well, if he’s like, super good at this, get him to tell you your fortunes!” So the Dragon King was all, kay, and he changed into a human being and went to see what’s up.
Remember, the Dragon King was real pissed off, so he was all, “Imma give you 50 taels of silver if you can predict tomorrow’s weather,” so the fortune teller was all calm and shit and said, “It will rain tomorrow, at this time and there’s gonna be this much rain, kthx.”
So the Dragon King was like, “Bitch, he doesn’t know I’m the Dragon King, and it ain’t gonna rain on my watch, yo.”
But after he went back and shit, he got an order for the Jade Emperor, who was all, “Hey Dragon, make it rain tomorrow at this time, and make sure it rains this much, yo,” which was totally what the fortune teller predicted.
The Dragon King was so shocked that he was all, k, but he totally had to figure out a way to mess things up for the fortune teller, so he did the unthinkable. He changed the time of rain, and the amount of rain the people got.
So the Dragon King was freakin’ happy and he went to trash the fortune teller’s stand and called him a fraud and shit, but the fortune teller wasn’t even angry, ‘cause he was like, “I mean, you can do that, but the Jade Emperor has already gotten Wei He to arrest you at the third watch tomorrow afternoon.”
The Dragon King flipped his lid and was like, “Oh man, please help me, dude,” to the fortune teller, and the fortune teller was all, “Maybe if you asked the Emperor to help you, he could do it.”
In a dream, the Dragon King came to the Emperor and was all, “Dude. You gotta help me. I’m totally going to die, ‘cause the Jade Emperor asked Wei He to kill me, so please do stuff to make him like, not kill me?”
And since dreams were super-significant during that period of time, the Emperor woke up and was all, okay. I gotta help this dude, and so he played chess with Wei He till it was the third watch, and Wei He didn’t go anywhere! He fell asleep!
‘Cause see, Wei He dreamed that he had captured and slayed the Dragon King - oops.
The Emperor never never never heard the end of it from the Dragon King’s ghost. I mean, the Dragon was all like, FML, and he haunted the Emperor in his sleep. Finally, the Emperor couldn’t take this shit no more, yo, but hey, guess what? Qin Shubao and Yuchi Jingde showed and were all, “Emperor, we’ll guard your door when you sleep,” and that’s what they did.
The Dragon King never showed up no more.
But the Emperor knew he couldn’t make Qin Shubao and Yuchi Jingde guard the door errday, so he asked people to paint them and paste them on his doors while he slept, so he could have a peace of mind, which was totally awesome.
Oh yeah. If you wanna know what happens to the Dragon King, read Journey to the West.
1 year ago · 3 notes
Look at the pic below. Imma introduce two new bad-ass gods - not just one! - today. These bad-ass gods are called Shen Tu and Yu Lei, and they were so freakin’ powerful that all the lions, tigers and bears - oh yes, they were all afraid of them.
There are more fearsome pictures of them, I promise, but man, check out the detail! They are a big deal!
Anyway, all this started ‘cause the Jade Emperor was looking down at earth, chillin’ from his post, and he saw that demons were gnawing on the peach trees, and peach trees are like, really important motifs in Chinese culture ‘cause they like, symbolize fertility and immortality - I mean, the Jade Emperor par-tays regularly with the Queen Mother since they hold peach banquets together. When he saw that, he got so pissed off, he was like, “Shen Tu, Yu Lei, you totally gotta guard the peach trees,” so they were like, “You got it boss,” and went down to earth.
So they went down, saw them demons and kicked their butts, easy. Then they were all, kay, what do we do now? I mean we subdued them, and our bossman didn’t tell us what to do, so they thought, ah, just feed them to the tigers, so that was what they did.
And you know, every trouble-making demon was like, super afraid of them while they were on earth, so people started carving out wooden figures of them and putting them outside their homes to scare creepy shit away. That was in the Zhou dynasty.
After a while, people got kinda lazy, and they didn’t bother to carve these statues - and besides, getting ready for Chinese New Year involved lots of prep, so they wrote the Chinese characters, Shen Tu and Yu Lei on peach boards - because of their origins and symbolism - duh! And from then on, these characters hung on the door kind of sufficed to welcome the Spring Festival. Yay!
But wait! There’s more! During the Northern and Southern dynasties officials sort of like, changed it? Since they had to write on peach boards during spring, they chose to write really auspicious words of goodwill and what not on these boards, and after a while it was written on red paper, so they look like this:
These two couplets [not counting the one on top] basically mean, good tidings, luck and wealth will come in the incoming New Year. Note that this is a loose translation. Also, these couplets, were like, for super educated people to show off that their literary skills ‘cause each couplet had to have the same amount of characters - kinda like the last two lines of a Shakespearean sonnet, so it really was hard to write a good one.
So now you know about these bad-ass door gods, so come back the next time for another story about more door gods.
1 year ago · 9 notes