When the world was brand new and stuff, there was a White Jade Dragon living in a cave to the east of the celestial river. In the forest, there was a beautiful golden phoenix.

Erryday, they would meet each other on the way to do their own thangs, and they would totally say hi. After that the phoenix would soar through the sky, and the dragon would swim in the sea.

One day, they found a shiny pebble and they were like, “OMG SHINY PEBBLE!”

“Hey, I have an idea,” the Jade Dragon said. “Let’s polish it into a pearl.”

“Good idea,” the phoenix said, so that’s what they did.

They carved it for months and months, the phoenix with her beak and the dragon with his claws, and after a while, it was the roundest and most brilliant thing you ever did see. To add the finishing touches to the pearl, the phoenix went to get dewdrops and the dragon used water from the celestial river to make it shine. There. The pearl was done.

Over time, the phoenix and the dragon came to like each other, and they decided that they wanted to stay together and look after the dragon pearl. It was a real special pearl too, since it made plants grow better when it shined. The flowers would bloom, the crops would grow, shit like that.

Of course, the Queen Mother of the West got to know of this pearl and she wanted it. So she got one of her assistants to grab it from the dragon and the phoenix, which they did when the creatures were sleeping.

The servants grabbed it and passed it to the Queen Mother. She was like, so happy and shiz, she put it in the secret room real deep inside the palace, and you had to like, unlock nine doors to actually get into the room.

The next day, the dragon and the phoenix got up, and they were like, “WTF? Where is our pearl?” The dragon searched all the rivers and the phoenix searched all the mountains, but they couldn’t find it, which sucked.

Meanwhile, up in the heavens, there was a huge par-tay going on, since it was like, the Queen Mother’s birthday. Errybody gave her presents and shiz, givin’ her well wishes. The Queen Mother was like, real happy, and she got carried away. So she said, “Hey guys. Imma show you my ultimate treasure.”

So errybody followed her, and she unlocked the nine doors to the innermost room in the palace, and she asked someone to place the pearl on the tray and bring it into the main hall. There, the pearl shone so brightly that errybody oohed and aahed, and its light was so bright that the dragon and phoenix could see it was there.

The two creatures flew there as fast as it could. They saw errybody admiring what was theirs and they were seriously pissed.

“Hey! That pearl is ours!” the dragon declared

“No it’s not, it’s mine, and since I am the Queen Mother, all treasures belong to me.”

“Says you! We worked hard on this pearl to make it shine!” The phoenix added.

The Queen Mother was so angry that she got her guards to kick the dragon and the phoenix out of the palace, but they charged, and tried to take the pearl back. There was a huge scuffle, and the pearl fell down to the earth. The dragon and the phoenix raced down to save the pearl, but it was too late. The pearl fell and became a huge lake.

The dragon and phoenix didn’t want to abandon their handiwork, and changed into two mountains which surrounded the lake. The mountains came to be known as Jade Dragon Mountain and Golden Phoenix Mountain, and the lake came to be called Westlake.

If you’re curious, you can go to Hangzhou to see it. It sure is magnificent.